Interlude

After years away from blogging, I feel it is time to begin again. The last 2, nearly 3 years cannot really be shared with anyone.  They were some of the hardest times I have ever lived through.  Graduate school has turned me inside out and emptied me.  I am not quite the same as I was before I started.

One of the things that stands out to me about the past three years is darkness.  I have become acquainted with my own darkness.  Before, I was terrified of the coldness, sadness, pain that was inside, I would drown it out or run from it.  These things do not make it go away.  I turn toward my pain now.  I sit in it.  I am still terrified at times.  Now, though, as I cry out, I know that I am not alone and that my Lord cares for me and is intimately acquainted with all of my suffering. If I feel alone, He has felt alone.  If I fear death or the end of all things, He has faced death and conquered death!  If I feel the prick of a life poured out and unappreciated, how much more has He known this?  Thank you, Jesus, for coming in the flesh.  You are familiar with all of my ways.