Generosity Required

In every relationship, be it a work colleague, husband/boyfriend, best friend, or pastor, there will be negative things that happen. A pastor announces he is leaving, your boyfriend does not remember your anniversary, your colleague doesn't tell your boss that the idea the head partner is so excited about was actually yours. You get my point. No matter who you are, you will experience potential conflict, especially if you are emotionally involved.

A few weeks ago, we went through a video series by Andy Stanley about marriage. What Andy said has changed my entire frame of reference for how to deal with moments of conflict. According to some studies (and I'm going to find out the particulars), the biggest indicator of marital satisfaction has more to do with your 'generosity' than sex, communication, or financial stability. This blew me away.

The more generous you are in your excuses for your spouse, the happier you will be. Your husband cancels on you at the last minute. You can think, 'oh, he always flakes out when it's something I want to do!' Or you could think, 'I know this week has been really stressful for him. He is always happiest when it's just the two of us together.' When we view our partners, family members and friends this way, they are encouraged by our positive views of them. It does not have to be that we are doormats. On the contrary, when we extend grace, actually think with lenience and positivity, the other person wants to be as 'good' as we view them. This week I was thrown an opportunity to be really upset and disappointed. Instead of writing a person off, I chose to view the person and the situation generously. In future dealings, I will remember only kindness and pleasant thoughts about him. I will never regret this decision.

New Year

My favorite part of the end of the year was the hour Dominique and I spent pedal boating on Lake Chabot. We used our time to pray aloud about our goals and to pray specifically for each of our friends.

This year has been a balm for me...I feel like God has been slowly suturing me up and speaking to me again. The last half of the year has gone by so fast! My emotions (from last post) are erratic with lack of sleep, stress, and just a lot of different variables. It was nice to talk to the Lord, and know that He's quick to listen and respond.

I am really messed up in my heart about a lot of things right now. My fears have been talking rather loudly. God, you are greater. You did not run out of plans when you made me. I'm not the 'looked-over, crusted edge piece.' I am beloved, and You have a good plan for me. I am not too much, and You are enough.