Nostalgia

Tell me why seeing a picture from three and a half years ago makes me feel so shaky. This life has afforded me so many opportunities to meet incredible people. For a time, God places people in my life (and sometimes I'm placed in their lives -- it's the same thing really) that show me something about Him and then He takes me out of their lives. Tonight I'm thinking about when I lived in Norway 8 years ago and the relationships that felt like they'd grown tree roots in my chest. Saying goodbye was so difficult. I cried for a straight week.... Then there was Oklahoma. At the time I don't think that I fully even grasped what I had there. All around me were people my age that longed to be a part of something sacred and big and that had so much to give and receive. I took everything for granted and left without much of a backward glance. I miss those people. I miss that time in my life.

Maybe the rain pouring down outside has brought these melancholy feelings out. I do know this, God is not finished with the introductions and the opportunities. There will be more amazing people and likely many sad goodbyes. Thank you, Lord for each new person. Help me to reflect You.

Random Thoughts

The exciting future has always been one elusive step ahead of me. I used to think that I would turn a corner in life, some magic momentous turn of events and voila! I would know exactly what it was my life should turn out to be. It has never really worked out this way.

First it was learning Farsi and working in some governmentally-funded job somewhere. Then it was leading worship revivals all over the world. After that I was pretty sure I was supposed to move to Norway and go to a Discipleship Training School for about a year. I've been all over the board with the various plans I've made and hopes I have had. Out of the seeminly hundreds of plans I've made, one thing has been central in all of them. To devote myself, mind, body and soul to the work of God in the world. Jesus' death and resurrection to be preached. His love poured out on those deserving and non-deserving.

God makes us who we are. He knows exactly what makes us excited or hurts us the most. When I make these plans, it is because God made me to want more out of life and to long for adventure. I can sense that there is more out there for me to do. I want to draw others closer to Him...I want them to truly taste and see that He is good! Staying put in one place has never appealed to me. Languages and cultures are amazing to me. God has created us all to be so unique. I want to celebrate the Lord's love by loving others! Does this mean that I go over to India and care for diseased children living in the streets? Does this mean that I give a year of my life to a DTS that will train me and allow me to dedicate a large chunk of time to giving of myself and sharing the Lord's awesome love?

I do not know. But I do know this: my life is in His hands to do in and through me beautiful things unto His glory.